Monday, June 1, 2009

Kyunki saas bhi kabhi 'serial-heroine' thi

What happens when there are times when the only thing that your mum wants to watch on TV are sad stories about several families, each with it's own share of 'good' and 'evil' women, all of whom have no real purpose in the world other than to cry or make absurd faces and make others cry?

You become ME. Someone who detests anything remotely soap-ish or serial-ish in Hindi/Tamil.

Let me give you an example of what I'm talking about:
Most serials have a protagonist who is basically a sad woman of the house who has a lot more responsibility other than just being a woman of the house.

  • She leads by example.
  • She supports the family.
  • She murders the 'evil' landlord for the family and goes to prison.
  • She stands up against the scariest of gundas.
  • She is the consummate self-sacrificer who will do anything to keep the family in good spirits.
  • She will see her family through all it's suffering, bravely pacifying the stupid younger brother, the helpless husband who's family kicks him out of his house, the sister who's marriage was earlier stalled by the protagonist's business competitors.
  • She will have a father with a zillion wives.
  • She will have a husband who is in love with her sister.
  • She will be the woman that every woman( and man, seriously!?!?!) who watches these soaps wants to be.
  • She will quite literally be the SuperWoman \m/
Why would an idea that seems so absurd on paper, actually work in reality?

Possible Answers:
  1. Wait, maybe it's not all that absurd, seeing that there are a few households where it really happens.. (ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND? If there is a family as dysfunctional as the Garodia Khandan or the Walia Parivar, there would be no reason for soaps to work. Because people want to see what can happen when that actually is the case.
  2. Maybe because it is what every house-wife imagines herself to be, an idyllic housewife if you might. (Quite possible, but I can show you a zillion other much less dramatic examples)
  3. Maybe because women power is the in thing and you are a fool for not realizing that. Stop being such an MCP! (I'll stop when there are male protagonists.)
  4. Mybe because it's a good way to pass time. (Why on earth were Books, Games, ENGLISH Movies and Sports invented!?!?!?! WHY!?!)
  5. Maybe because Ekta Kapoor is consideraly richer than you are because she knows what she's doing and you should just shut up and stop writing. (Maybe, maybe not. Still, that's not gonna stop me from calling something that's absurd ABSURD! Deal with it)
Some trends I've noticed:
  • 'Evil' women in the soaps have extremely arched eyebrows and usually wear dark, scary nail gloss and lipstick.
  • 'Evil' women have all the fancy names.
  • Some of the names of 'Evil' men in the soaps are downright hilarious.
  • Even the richest of families undergo a severe monetary crisis.
  • Court cases invariably have a female lawyer who gets trounced by her male counterpart in the first argument, but comes back very strongly in the second and wins the case for her client.
  • Soaps that have run for more than a year on a 4/5 days a week basis rin for at least another year(rather than being banned from TV-space for all eternity).
  • There is always a dirty cop.
  • There is always a disgusting in-law in the family (or one with a shady past).
  • Someone gets pushed off a cliff (By far the most favourite way to kill off characters).
  • Actors get replaced every now and again when their roles in the serials change accordingly.
  • The 'evil' people make pacts with one of the good people and work from the inside.
  • Actors who are reasonably successful in one soap invariably act in a multitude of others in quick succession leaving the older watchers of television in complete disarray as to what happens in one episode.
  • The title song for most soaps have the most awesome singers in the industry rendering the vocals.
  • The background music used in most soaps are either loud repetitive beats or sad howling, and in some cases slowed down versions of popular movie songs (read Hindi soaps).
  • 100% of the soaps suck. But there is the occasional AWESOME character who lights things up.

Yes, I would love to continue venting, but it is already quite long and I won't take any more of your time. Yes, I would have to watch a lot of serials to know all this. With grandparents visiting every now and again with a solid 1800-2300hrs slot assigned for tamil serials and reruns of Hindi serials screened during that time in the mornings and afternoons with a mum who loves watching them exactly when there's some activity on the dining table, I have little choice.

Cliched title again? Who cares...

13 comments:

Unknown said...

Sure does seem like you watch a lot of serials. And i can totally empathize with you. Happens to me at home too. Drives me mad, especially when there is a match that i cannot miss. I suggest you buy another TV

Aditya said...

Suggestion put up for consideration :D request yet to be processed :P

Ryan said...

Oh my dad watches 'em. I see one every month and I still get the story. It is as though the story is waiting for you to be there when it progresses.

Unknown said...

haha.. i agree with u on this one!! but never knew so much to actually write so much about it cause i usually walk away during serial/soap time!!! :D

sonam said...

this is one good "non-weird" post of urs... something that made sense

Aditya said...

@ Sharan, try Hindi serials will you? :D

They grow older by 15 years in 2 episodes and end up marrying each other's brothers/sisters :D
and there's this female who calls her husband 'Mr. Walia' 25 years after they've been together :|


@ Anirudh, you should watch it simply for curiosity's sake :P

@ Sonam, how dare YOU!?!?! :P

Nitesh said...

pretty accurate (lol ya i get to know the sotries too :( ) but dude, u missed out on...
1. The "plastic surgery" after the fall from the cliff!! rofl.. d best way to change the cast!
2. How children (18-20 yr olds) so often pop out of nowhere n say, "Main aapka beta/beti hoon!" =))

N seriously, a non-weird post for once ;) good work.. :P

Aditya said...

@ NItesh :P

Perfectly fair enough!

and yes, feel free to contribute any more points that I missed out on :D

Why does everyone say it's non-weird? Why is it non-weird? IT'S WEIRD !!!

Aravind \m/ said...

It's weird,alright. And it's true,i guess. Like Ani said,I find it best to walk away during serial times. Malayalam serials about God are IRRITATING(unless you're the kinda theist who believes that idols turn into women who paralyse you JUST when you're about to kick it)!!

Shyam Kumar said...

but from an observers point of view serials are fun .every time i see an episode i wonder how the women of bharat can swallow such tripe and worse get addicted to it too.whats the fun in sobbing or cursing your evening away with imaginary buffoons??i say women cause the men who watch these dont deserve their gender :p

Respectful Disagreement said...

the 'baa' character in 'kyunki' is statistically proved to be 347 years.

:-|


enough said.

gayathri said...

I live with my grandma who is not only obsessed with watching her serials in tamil,telugu and malayalam(thank god she doesn't know hindi) but also discussing it all other 60+ serial fanatics in the colony in the middle of our hall. I know exactly how you feel! Why the hell can't they make shows like Friends here??

Aditya said...

@ Aravind, it happens only in India :)

@ Shyam, agreed, they can be funny as hell at times.

@ Rohit, fair enough :D

@ gayathri, something like Friends, in India? yeah, right :D