Kyunki saas bhi kabhi 'serial-heroine' thi

What happens when there are times when the only thing that your mum wants to watch on TV are sad stories about several families, each with it's own share of 'good' and 'evil' women, all of whom have no real purpose in the world other than to cry or make absurd faces and make others cry?

You become ME. Someone who detests anything remotely soap-ish or serial-ish in Hindi/Tamil.

Let me give you an example of what I'm talking about:
Most serials have a protagonist who is basically a sad woman of the house who has a lot more responsibility other than just being a woman of the house.

• She leads by example.
• She supports the family.
• She murders the 'evil' landlord for the family and goes to prison.
• She stands up against the scariest of gundas.
• She is the consummate self-sacrificer who will do anything to keep the family in good spirits.
• She will see her family through all it's suffering, bravely pacifying the stupid younger brother, the helpless husband who's family kicks him out of his house, the sister who's marriage was earlier stalled by the protagonist's business competitors.
• She will have a father with a zillion wives.
• She will have a husband who is in love with her sister.
• She will be the woman that every woman( and man, seriously!?!?!) who watches these soaps wants to be.
• She will quite literally be the SuperWoman \m/
  

Why would an idea that seems so absurd on paper, actually work in reality?

Possible Answers:

1. Wait, maybe it's not all that absurd, seeing that there are a few households where it really happens.. (ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND? If there is a family as dysfunctional as the Garodia Khandan or the Walia Parivar, there would be no reason for soaps to work. Because people want to see what can happen when that actually is the case.
2. Maybe because it is what every house-wife imagines herself to be, an idyllic housewife if you might. (Quite possible, but I can show you a zillion other much less dramatic examples)
3. Maybe because women power is the in thing and you are a fool for not realizing that. Stop being such an MCP! (I'll stop when there are male protagonists.)
4. Mybe because it's a good way to pass time. (Why on earth were Books, Games, ENGLISH Movies and Sports invented!?!?!?! WHY!?!)
   
5. Maybe because Ekta Kapoor is consideraly richer than you are because she knows what she's doing and you should just shut up and stop writing. (Maybe, maybe not. Still, that's not gonna stop me from calling something that's absurd ABSURD! Deal with it)

Some trends I've noticed:

• 'Evil' women in the soaps have extremely arched eyebrows and usually wear dark, scary nail gloss and lipstick.
• 'Evil' women have all the fancy names.
• Some of the names of 'Evil' men in the soaps are downright hilarious.
• Even the richest of families undergo a severe monetary crisis.
• Court cases invariably have a female lawyer who gets trounced by her male counterpart in the first argument, but comes back very strongly in the second and wins the case for her client.
• Soaps that have run for more than a year on a 4/5 days a week basis rin for at least another year(rather than being banned from TV-space for all eternity).
• There is always a dirty cop.
• There is always a disgusting in-law in the family (or one with a shady past).
• Someone gets pushed off a cliff (By far the most favourite way to kill off characters).
• Actors get replaced every now and again when their roles in the serials change accordingly.
• The 'evil' people make pacts with one of the good people and work from the inside.
• Actors who are reasonably successful in one soap invariably act in a multitude of others in quick succession leaving the older watchers of television in complete disarray as to what happens in one episode.
• The title song for most soaps have the most awesome singers in the industry rendering the vocals.
• The background music used in most soaps are either loud repetitive beats or sad howling, and in some cases slowed down versions of popular movie songs (read Hindi soaps).
• 100% of the soaps suck. But there is the occasional AWESOME character who lights things up.

Yes, I would love to continue venting, but it is already quite long and I won't take any more of your time. Yes, I would have to watch a lot of serials to know all this. With grandparents visiting every now and again with a solid 1800-2300hrs slot assigned for tamil serials and reruns of Hindi serials screened during that time in the mornings and afternoons with a mum who loves watching them exactly when there's some activity on the dining table, I have little choice.

Cliched title again? Who cares...

Tee Vee

What do you call a person who watches around about 4 tv shows on and off, 5 feverishly, 4 till they got over and still wants to watch some more?

The Mind #2

Palak Paneer.

Mangoes(home-grown Alphonso from a 40 year old tree).

Homemade chocolates

• Marshmallow-stuffed.
• Rice-crispies coated.
• Mint-centred.
• Fudge(microwaved for 5-8 seconds at 100%).
• Dark with hazelnut.
  

Halwa

• frozen and thawed till it's just right(it doesn't get rock hard)
• microwaved for 12 seconds at 100%
  

Minute Maid(fresh out of the fridge)

The Mind

Poker.
Eloisa to Abelard.
Iris.
Final Fantasy.
Reebok.
Scarlett Johansson.
Differential Thermal Analysis.
Manchester United vs Arsenal.
Antidisestablishmentarianism.
Treasure Hunts.
Ninja.
Skagen.
IEEE.


Peace

A morning in the life of a 19-yr old. Or Not.

This one is for those of you who identify with morning blues. The one's who don't can continue being the one's who 'hold my bus'. (See 0725)
This is how the average day 'rolls'.

0600: My alarm(Glasgow Kiss-yeah baby!) goes off, invariably i'm too sound asleep to realize and the wake-up-tool is rendered useless.
0630: My mom runs into my room, wakes me up, which is a 5-minute process involving turning on the light(Yes, I can't go back to sleep then-it works)/ throwing a pillow at me(She says she's picking up the one that's fallen off the bed, but I know better)/ pouring a couple drops of cold water on my face, or just scaring me by telling me it's 7 and that I'll miss the bus(the last one works the best, mind you).
0650: I wake up, look at the time, and get what I think is the last five minutes of sleep, turns out to be more like 15,
0705: I practically jump off the bed and hurriedly freshen up in 10 minutes(Yes, I brush, shower, change and pack my bag that quick. no kidding), and mom yells to see that i'm actually finally awake, when I run down to eat some breakfast(weird porridge involving banana, oats, some museli and corn flakes), which is impossible to down in under 10 minutes, no matter how hard you try.
0723: I search all over for socks, find them, wear my shoes in under 15 seconds on average, and run out of the house checking to see that my pockets have my wallet, my phone and my ID card, in that order.
0725: Text message a friend 'Hold Bus' while I'm walking towards the bus stop only to the now yellow-coloured vehicle leaving, when I decide to run after and get on it a 100 yards away. My friends congratulate me on my achievement.
0730: Turn on the iPod. Sleep like a log.
0830: Wake up to see I'm in college and that I've a whole day ahead of me.


And that's just the morning.

This is what happens most days.
Some days, I miss the bus, frantically call dad up and ask him to drop me off at the next bus stop, where a bus that leaves later is my ride to college.
Some days, I get up reasonably on time. Some days. ;)
Some days, college just doesn't work. Most days :D

"All's well that ends well"

The System

Once, when I was asked why there are rules, I realized something that astounded and scared me at the same time.

My best answer-'So we can follow them'.

I mean, apart from the 'goody two-shoes' explanations involving rules being a moral code of conduct to do with right and wrong, or rules being enforced so people can become conscious citizens of a country or a zillion other frivolous reasons I can think of, I can't come up with one solid reason for rules to be established and enforced in each institution or organization or country for that matter.

The people who do follow rules generally do for their loyalty towards the cause or because they don't have a valid reason not to, I mean, that would be more of a case of nothing better to do.

The ones that don't can ever so easily be hypocritical and just say the same stuff I am saying, the only difference being that I can't see any reason why I follow rules either, but I still do most of the time, in spite of bending them here and there for reasons that are beside the point.

The point of the matter here being that law and order and everything to do with governing or running a country involves rules and regulations and enforcement of these rules are done, well, let's just say reasonably satisfactorily enough. Although people follow the rules for fear of being penalized for not following them, and mind you, the penalties can be quite severe, there aren't many people I know who would raise a hand when asked whether they have always followed rules and whether they can justify why they did.

Not to be cynical or unfairly critical either, but I'd really like to see someone step up and prove me wrong.

Peace.

My own personal little record

6 posts in an hour and 16 minutes

even if one wasn't well and truly mine.